tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35195025415462299202024-02-20T15:12:02.406-08:00Love & Hate & Everything elseExploring life as a 20 year old. Things I love, things I hate, and everything in betweenCaitlinRoseGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18233733431813200624noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3519502541546229920.post-57541062836446824952010-11-03T23:33:00.000-07:002010-11-03T23:33:13.064-07:00A few days later it still seems weird<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well.. It finally happened. I turned 20. WTF. Seriously, how did the world let this happen? </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't know about anyone else but I took it really hard. I know it sounds rather pathetic, but I just thought a lot would be different by the time I was 20. Looking back, as a young girl I thought I would be a successful, strong, full of will student poised to graduate with amazing marks who knew who she was and what she wanted out of life. I would be stunningly beautiful with a handsome boyfriend who loved me to boot (of course!) I couldn't be farther from where I thought I would be... and I think that is the craziest thing of all . I am not a teen anymore so I have no excuses to not be where I want to be. It is weird to think about.. how differently things are from what you thought that they would be. And while I know the 12 year old girl in me was a little naive, I can't help but feel a little disappointed in myself. I shit away my teen years hating highschool and boys and well, many of the girls I knew too. And now all I wish is that I didn't have to grow up, start wearing wrinkle cream, pay fees on my bank account, and act like an old lady. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have never been one to like the whole growing up situation.. but 20 was a whole other level for me. Honestly, 30 and 40 will be ok I think... it is this initial 'I'm not a kid anymore' that feels the worst.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I don't want to let my childhood go. I don't know how to be "20" like... 2 decades old. Holy shit. Here's to hoping it will be better then the teens however, and that I learn about myself and have some fun AND STOP FREAKING OUT OVER BEING AN OLD HAG. Yes-- I went there </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">message to self today: Stop being such a psycho bitch you 20 year old.. And lighten up! </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">xo. </span></span>CaitlinRoseGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18233733431813200624noreply@blogger.com1